frustration

I am at one of those yucky places right now. Eating has not been great, not all bad but not great either. I'm trying to see where I lost footing, slipped up and identify how to get back on.
The holidays are upon me and I've never really gone through them trying to be healthy before. I can see it's not going to be easy.
I haven't worked out since Saturday, which now that that's down on paper it doesn't seem so bad. It's Tuesday today. I had a goal of every other day that was working well though so I've let myself down.
So, there's 3 things that I need to turn around. Getting out of this yucky place where I let go and eat too much--I'm not really making bad choices, just eating too much. So why am I doing that?? I weighed in Sunday and was up 3. I was/am down 79--I do not take back what I've achieved even if I have a gain so in my mind, I'm still down 79. I've sweat, screamed, cried and punched out those 79 pounds, I'll be damned if I add them back on again! So I was up, and I know why--it's from the cocktails I indulged in on Thursday night, then Saturday night. Not a lot, but enough and boy, do they pack the calories! On Sunday I made a pretty healthy dip for my hubby during the game and proceeded to eat half of it with tortilla chips to boot. Then it was, well, I've eaten that much, might as well eat two of the yummy crock pot pulled pork sandwiches with an added couple bites of my 2 yr old's too. ::sigh:: Today I did well until before dinner, then I over ate box stuffing and mashed taters complete with green bean casserole. Yes, I'm having that green bean goodness I love next week but I just couldn't wait and had to have some tonight. But ya know, something happened, it just didn't taste as good as I remembered.
So I'm asking myself, why is that? Is it because it didn't do it's job for me that I've let it do so many times before which is comfort me and make me feel better?? I keep asking myself this question tonight as my mind wandered back to that. It was good, but it wasn't as good as I remember. I could've waited till next week on turkey day. I should've waited. I've come this far though and I refuse to beat myself up over choices I make. I wanted the damn green bean crap so I made it and ate it. I didn't go back for bites before I packed the left overs in the fridge. Who am I kidding, I stayed the hell out of the kitchen away from them all together so I couldn't! Point is, I didn't go back. And that's what I'm going to focus on here, I am not going back. Not for just one more bite and not to pack on pounds I've already fought so hard to get rid of. NO way. I can do this~just gotta keep on stepping, keep on going. I CAN DO THIS AND I WILL!