March 16, 2010

Well, here I am. Blogging. Gotta love modern technology. I am driven to journal my thoughts with this new frontier I am embarking upon. Writing that makes me feel like I am dishonest. Who cares?! I can lie in my own flippin' blog, right?! ::sigh:: No, still feel dishonest. Just a bit. See, I say "new frontier" and yet I've been to this place before. Sort of. I have battled the weight beast most of my life. I am sick and tired of it, too. I have told myself I am NOT turning 40 (in 3 years) fat. I said that word. That word that mortifies me. I hear it and I instantly get embarrassed. My kids utter it and I panic inside my head. We'll be watching t.v. and if that word is spoken, I secretly hold my breath and hope no one looks at me. I am no longer willing to be trapped inside, fat holding me prisoner. So, although this feels like a new frontier, I have tried and started many new weight loss frontiers-I've always had success, just not completed success. This time it will be different. Because I am making sure it is. So, to start off, I am listing the top reasons why I am making weight loss happen this time.

1. I want to be healthy and feel good.
2. I want to be a good role model for my kids.
3. I want to shop for clothes and feel good about it!
4. I no longer want to feel trapped by my weight.
5. I no longer want to go over in my head which way to stand, which way to walk, which way to move so that I don't look as fat.
6. I want to buy sexy lingerie, and feel good about wearing it!
7. I want to live to see my children grow, grandchildren grow etc. (If I'm that lucky!)
8. I want to be FREE. Free from this weight prisoner.
9. I want to eat to live, not live to eat!
10. I want to simply be able to say "I have beaten this beast!"