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tomorrow!
I am pumped. I have now lost 25 pounds. Unchartered waters here, but loving them. I am really, truly proud of myself. I've stuck with this healthy eating thing and not given up. When I've wanted something that isn't exactly 'heathly'- for example today at work there was french toast sticks for lunch. Our entire building was all cinnamon-y smelling sweetness....mmmmmm. I ate a fiber fit bar for breakfast and did Biggest Loser workout this a.m. to make room to enjoy my lunch. Then I did not snack this afternoon before dinner and walked after dinner as well. I knew I wanted those sticks for lunch, but I made myself accountable for having them too. I like that. I feel so much better, so much more in control...I love it. Anyway, when I wanted something, I ate it but made some adjustments to allow it into my program. I am not calling it a "diet"...it's not. I am simply eating healthy and doing so to lose weight. can't wait to get to the next 25 down!

Rainbows

Have always been a favorite of mine. Ever since I was a child, I'd see one with my parents in our many trips back and forth from Duluth or see them outside and we'd always say something like..."God must be smiling" or "God sent us a smile"...Even now when I see them, I like to think it's a little smile sent from my Mom. Which is why I'm using rainbows to track my weight loss. Yes, rainbows. Even though wii fit keeps track of my losses and/or gains, I like to have something I can look at easily. I made my own tracker, and it's a rainbow path. Every individual square represents 1 pound I lose. To fill a rainbow, I need to lose 6 pounds. For every 6 pounds I lose, I made a mark on the path with what I call a bridge. It's really helping me push onward, stay on track and stay focused.
Today is a special day, I've completed 4 rainbows! 24 pounds lost! I've never gone this far on my own, so I'm in unchartered waters now. But for the first time in my life, I'm happy about that! :)

Revelation

I came across another person's blog and as I read these words, something clicked inside me. "...I continued to abuse myself with food..." Wow. Powerful words right there. As I read those words, it hit me. I DO that. I am the living definition of those words! I have put horrible-for-me food into my body like it's a land-fill dump so no wonder those words triggered something in me. I used to say I'm a stress eater. Yes, I am...but I am beginning to realize there's a little more to it than that. I eat when I feel guilty about myself or my behavior.
Yesterday, I was dealing with my 11 yr old and one of her "issues" (we'll just call it that for now) and although I remained calm through it and was able to remove myself and step away---I began to realize I was hungry and needed food. As I look back now, I was fine waiting until dinner. But when the stress of dealing with my daughter hit, I immediately turned to food. Not because of the stress, but because I was feeling guilty that she was having one of her behavior issues again and if I was the mom I wanted to be, she wouldn't be acting like that in the first place. I felt guilty and subconsciously, started abusing myself with food. Wow. I can't believe I never realized that before. I have treated my body like a human garbage dump for so long and never realized that!? Never thought of it in that way. It's amazing to me. Sounds crazy, but it makes perfect sense to me. I know food is my addiction, but only until now am I starting to realize the full capacity of it all. I am SO happy I found these weight loss blogs and started blogging myself. I really feel empowered to achieve this goal I have. Go me!

Friday

I got a call at work today that my 2 yr old wasn't feeling well, so I came home. Poor girl was sleeping, felt warm....I'm so bummed, we've got many plans this weekend and I hope she's feeling up to them. We shall see, she's sleeping now.

On another note-last night I went to dinner with my sister to Melting Pot. Oh my gosh, that place is AMAZING! LOVE IT! I've always wanted to go there, so I took her for her birthday. SO much fun! We really enjoyed the evening, and it was great to do that with my sister! When my mom passed away in 2004, there were things that happened and my sister and I didn't talk for years. Yes, years. I am so grateful she is back in my life, my family's lives...it was a great night!

I weighed in yesterday a.m. and lost another 3.3! YAY! I am so happy! My jeans feel great, even right out of the dryer! I am on my way to my goal each and every day and it feels sooo sooo good. Gonna be a healthier me!

birthday cake

is EVIL! Evil I tell you!
I am happy to say I have avoided it twice now. Throw it out, make it easy? It's my daughter's birthday cake and my kids shouldn't be punished because their Mom can't leave it alone. So I will avoid it and stick to the plan. I CAN do this, I can. I WILL. I figured if I blogged about it, it would help. It does help.

I haven't weighed since a week ago. I hurt my ankle something horrid last weekend and so I have not been able to workout, I did not make the greatest food choices over Easter. I didn't do TOO bad, but there was room for improvement. I am back at it. Not going to give up. My hubby and i made a pact to get healthier. We do not want to put our children through our health issues if we can help it. And we can help it. Being overweight is so hard on your body and will take it's toll sooner or later. I've got to make this change and make it stick for me, my kids, my family...We're trying boca burgers tonight for dinner, first time ever not eating the traditional red meat burger. I'll post later on how they are. I'm also going to get us out for a bike ride tonight, I think it will be easier with my sore ankle.
Happy Saturday!