Revelation

I came across another person's blog and as I read these words, something clicked inside me. "...I continued to abuse myself with food..." Wow. Powerful words right there. As I read those words, it hit me. I DO that. I am the living definition of those words! I have put horrible-for-me food into my body like it's a land-fill dump so no wonder those words triggered something in me. I used to say I'm a stress eater. Yes, I am...but I am beginning to realize there's a little more to it than that. I eat when I feel guilty about myself or my behavior.
Yesterday, I was dealing with my 11 yr old and one of her "issues" (we'll just call it that for now) and although I remained calm through it and was able to remove myself and step away---I began to realize I was hungry and needed food. As I look back now, I was fine waiting until dinner. But when the stress of dealing with my daughter hit, I immediately turned to food. Not because of the stress, but because I was feeling guilty that she was having one of her behavior issues again and if I was the mom I wanted to be, she wouldn't be acting like that in the first place. I felt guilty and subconsciously, started abusing myself with food. Wow. I can't believe I never realized that before. I have treated my body like a human garbage dump for so long and never realized that!? Never thought of it in that way. It's amazing to me. Sounds crazy, but it makes perfect sense to me. I know food is my addiction, but only until now am I starting to realize the full capacity of it all. I am SO happy I found these weight loss blogs and started blogging myself. I really feel empowered to achieve this goal I have. Go me!