Tuesday

OK, so I don't have any funsy title and I just want to get some thoughts out.
:/
See that lil non-smiley guy right there? He kinda looks like he's saying "meh" or "bleh"....That is how I feel and have felt the past couple days. I have been to this place before. I lose some weight, shed some fat clothes, feel good, do great on eating....then I want to give into old habits. Whoever said they do die hard was right on the money. I am hovering around the same weight loss..maybe I've lost a pound or two, but certainly not one of my rainbows. Ugh. I need to push past through this and keep on going. I need to achieve this goal, I do. A friend and co-worker who lost 80+ pounds posted a quote and it said..."it you want it bad enough, you'll make it happen." I want this bad enough this time. I can FEEL it. I need to get my mojo back and kick this fat in the ass again. I was doing so good! I will not fail this time, I will not let it win. I need to make it happen. While sitting by our fire Friday night, one of my good friends said something that struck a chord in me. I had fixed a tray of s'mores for my kids and their neighbor friends. I'm talkin' a big ole tray of cut up candy bars, multiple kinds, grahams and marshmallows etc. It was pretty. And it was tempting. I ate a few bites of the cut up candy. So, I decided not to crack a beer or drink wine. Eye for an eye in my mind, lol. Well, this friend a couple others were sayin' have a drink, c'mon....etc etc. So she says You are pregnant, that's why you are not drinking. Ummm, no, not preggo I said, lol. She keeps sayin' it, another friend adds lil bits to this, then I say ya know, I just don't want to add the calories into today. So she says this "Since when have you ever cared about calories????!!!" Now, that bugged me. And it has bugged me since she said it. I talked with my other friend about it, who thought it was totally shitty etc.--she says things without thinking etc. I think she knows what she's saying, just says them anyway. It pissed me off. I have been fighting, pushing and making my goals since March and although that is only 2 months, it's a long two months for me. And this journey will be a long one for me. But I'm finding out, it's not the destination, it's the journey. I will get past this bump in my road and come out on the other side a healthier, thinner, better ME. And one who will not make crass, tacky comments to others, either! HA! ;o)